#NationalNudeDay isn't just for nudists anymore. If you would like to celebrate without getting in your birthday suit, just tell a joke or two. Be the funny guy at the office for a day!

  • 1

    Marriage

    ”It's just too hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" The wife replied, "Probably that I married you for your money."

  • 2

    Do you Take This Man?

    The marriage ceremony was being held at the nudist colony. The minister asked the bride, "Do you take this man? The bride-to-be said, "Well, if I had a choice, there's a guy in the second row…"

  • 3

    Nudist Pin

    The other day I came across a button/pin from the American Association For Nude Recreation, extolling the virtues of nudism. I just want to know, where would a nudist *put* such a pin?

  • 4

    Retiring Flasher

    Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!

  • 5

    Streaking

    Two old ladies were walking in the park.  The first old lady said, "I might as well die now, I've done everything and there is nothing left to live for." The second old lady said " I know something you haven't done. It's called streaking." First old lady "Streaking?  I've never heard of that." Second old lady "you go behind this bush and take off all your clothes and I'll take them across the park and when I give you the high sign, you take off and run naked through the park". First old lady "well, I've never done that before so OK." They do that and the second old lady gets across the park and gives the high sign and the first old lady dashes out and runs through the park. She passes two old men on a park bench. First old man: "What was that?" Second old man, "I don't know but it sure needed ironing."

  • 6

    Go To Work Naked

    Best Reasons Why To Go To Work Naked:

    1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

    2. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.

    3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

    4. You want to see if it's like the dream.

    5. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

    6. No one ever steals your chair.

  • 7

    Merry Christmas!

    I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror...wearing nothing but a camera!

  • 8

    $200

    John and his wife Mary were having a shower together when the doorbell rang. Mary heard the bell, got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her, went downstairs, and opened the door. Their neighbor Charlie looked at her from the doorway and said, "Oh, I see that I got you out of the shower. Sorry about that." "That's all right," Mary said, "What do you want?" "Not too much... my goodness you have beautiful skin. It's so pink from the shower. Mary, if I was to give you a hundred dollars, would you remove the towel from your upper body?" Mary thought about it for a minute, figured why not for a hundred dollars, and then removed the towel from her breasts. "Wow", Charlie exclaimed, "They are truly beautiful. Listen, for another hundred dollars would you consider taking the towel all the way off?" Why not, Mary thought, that's a lot of money, and she dropped the towel completely to the floor. Charlie had a good look, complimented her again on her fine looking body, reached into his pocket, took out two hundred dollars, gave it to her and left. As she got back upstairs and was getting back into the shower, John asked her who was at the door. "Just Charlie", she said, as she started to rub his back."Charlie eh", said John, "Did he give you the two hundred dollars he owed me?”

  • 9

    Frugal

    Derrick is pretty frugal. When he wanted to save money redecorating his house, he walked around naked for a few days, and his neighbors all chipped in for new curtains.

  • 10

    Sunbathing

    Down in Florida, there's a little hotel, four floors high. A girl used to take a sunbathe there every day. Since there were no higher hotels near it, she would take off her bathing suit and be in the nude. So she was in the nude and she was lying on her stomach, and she heard someone coming up the steps. She quickly grabbed the towel and put it around her. The man said, "I wish you wouldn't sunbathe in the nude up here." She said, "You never protested before." He said, "No, but I wish you would do it like you did before, in your bathing suit. "She said, "Why do you care? No one can see." He said, "Madam, you happen to be lying on the skylight of a dining room."

  • 11

    One-Liners

    A naked man fears no pickpocket.
    Bare butts are cool.
    A nudist never has to hold out his hand to see if it is raining.
    A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare.
    A harp is a nude piano.
    Nudist Resort sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.
    Always swim nude. Sharks hate to peel their food.
    Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
    Never cook bacon when you're naked.
    Senior Citizen Nude Beach ahead. Watch for Golden Oldies