A Kind-of Snobby Guide to the Ultimately Delicious French Fry

When it comes to good eats, I have a knack for scouting out the best there is to offer.

Especially here on the SouthCoast where there's just about a restaurant everywhere you turn.

These days, I try not to fill up on french fries, or what I like to call "side carbs." It's not that I don't like a heaping plate of those deep-fried potato cutlets. I'd rather focus on the entree instead without having to worry about getting too full.

Hi, my name is Gazelle, and I am a french fry snob.

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I'm not entirely sure when I became so sophisticated as to disown certain types of fries, yet here we are. For the longest time, I would refuse to order regular Idaho potato fries and found myself substituting for sweet potato. Although they were also fried food, subconsciously I told myself that it was healthier.

It's the little things, I suppose.

Back to rating fries. if I were to receive the perfect fry that models everything I'd hope for within a single bite of it, it would be this:

• Not too thin or thick.
• Must have ample seasoning or at least cracked pepper visible to the eye.
• Must not be over-salted
• Must have a nice initial crunch, but a softer center.
• Must not take over the entire plate of the dish I ordered. Sometimes too many fries is a bad thing. I'm not a fan of reheating fries, so if I can't find the room to fit them in one sitting, the chef has oversaturated the plate with starch.

Yes, I'm aware that I've thought way too much about a staple American side order, but seriously good fries deserve serious consideration.