KFC be like "Hey everyone, Chicken Littles are back," and I'm over here like "Wait, WHAT?!"

Don't you be playing games with my heart now, KFC. You know that I've been begging for the return of the mack-daddy sandwich, that savory, mouth-watering, take-all-my-money, tiny sandwich. My emotions are not to be fooled around with and this Open Letter I wrote a little while back is proof:

The second I heard the news (thanks Mom, for sending me the two-for-$3 coupon),  I yelled over the cubicle wall to my Digital Managing Editor, Tim, but we were initially hesitant.

We'd been burned before by promises of Chicken Littles, only to find out that they were Snackers in disguise. We called over to the local KFC and specifically asked if they were the original Chicken Littles, and the man who answered said, "Yeah, they are not the Snackers."

Suddenly, our lives had new meaning.

Without a second thought, we were both in his car, proceeding with reckless abandon towards the nearest KFC. You should have seen how excited we were and the mile-long smile on our faces—oh wait, you can, because I filmed our little road trip.

You've got to be kidding me.

Now, I'm a pretty patient guy, considering, but this really ticked me off. Never have I ever felt so betrayed! I was lied to, deceived, disheartened, and shamed all at once. Here we are, going out of our way to place our order through a tiny voice-box, thrilled with excitement like little kids on Christmas day, just to be slapped in the face by a pathetic piece of crispy fried chicken on a dinner roll.

How dare you, KFC, honestly—how dare you?

You have not only let down Tim and me, but also the thousands of others who will soon find out the hard way and will be lathered in disappointment and regret. You know darn well that those are simply Snackers in disguise, appointed the title "Chicken Littles" just because of their size and stature. It's truly a sad day.

Just know that we are rising up in the fight for justice. We as Chicken Little lovers will not stand for such false virtues and dismay. It's a simple demand that will shine a ray of light on your lies, for we are the fast food resistance and we will not stand for the unfairness that has draped our hopes with falsehoods.

We are the "Original Littles" lovers, and we will have our day.


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