I Hate Giving Out Halloween Candy

I probably sound like the old "Get off my lawn!" guy, but seriously, get off my lawn.

I remember being a trick-or-treater. As a kid I loved it. We got to dress up, hang out with our friends and most importantly, get free candy. It was awesome. Who doesn't love Halloween?

Now, don't get it twisted. I still absolutely love Halloween. I love seeing the costumes. I love eating copious amounts of candy. I love the scary movies and so on and so on.

But see, there's one thing I now hate about Halloween. As an adult, I'm realizing Halloween is work! Now the candy isn't free. As a matter of fact, I'm paying for candy that I don't even get to eat!

It's not that I don't love seeing the kids having fun and decked out in their costumes. It's not that I'm just some grouchy old man. It's mainly because I'm a lazy old man. I hate the fact that I have to get off my fat lazy butt and go answer the door and hand out candy. Then I'll go sit back down, and the second I get comfortable, there's another knock on the door.

I know I can't be the only person who feels this way, but I'll be the first to openly admit it. I hate giving out candy on Halloween. Maybe from here on out I'll just kill the lights, put on a scary movie and bury my face in the candy I bought. From now on THAT'S my Halloween.