Breaking The Single Cycle

If you spent another weekend trying to meet someone at the same bars, clubs and restaurants you always go to, then you may need to break the vicious cycle. So are you feeling brave enough to try something new?

As a 34-year-old woman getting married for the first time this Spring, I'd like to think I know a thing or two about being single and looking for Mr. Right.

Dating is truly different for everyone. Some like to play the field and just date around and have fun, while others are serial monogamists with one serious relationship after another.

No way of dating is necessarily wrong; but if you're at the point where what you're doing isn't getting you the results that you want, then you should consider breaking your single cycle.

For myself, dating was always kind of an afterthought. As a teenager I was not exactly prom queen material, so high school dating never really happened for me. By the time I got into college, I was working to pay my way through school and never really had time for anything too serious and after college I really enjoyed my job, but had odd hours, so if I didn't have time for everything in life, dating went to the back burner.

This kind of thinking caught up to me however and by my mid to late 20's, my friends were getting married and I wasn't anywhere close.

Next thing you know, you're the token single friend, the perennial third wheel and going out with your couple friends makes it nearly impossible to chat anyone up. And believe it or not, I was very apprehensive about my friends trying to fix me up.

The fix up always made me feel like I couldn't figure it out on my own. Like my social skills weren't good enough, so these kind people who had found love were taking pity on me and showing me how it was done.

Stupid I know, they were just trying to help. But that was my single cycle. Stubbornness and a busy schedule kept me on my own and even though deep down I knew I wanted that to change I never made any effort to make it change.

Then, for whatever reason, one day I just did. A friend told he about a guy her husband worked with that I should meet and suggested a group setting to make me feel less awkward about it. I agreed, though in my head I was thinking this would not work out and I could at least get her off my back when I proved it would not work out.

Boy was I wrong. And I had to tell her she was right.

The guy her husband worked with and I hit it off almost right away. Within a couple of months we were as inseparable as our schedules would allow and I eventually changed up my crazy work hours to make sustaining the relationship even easier.

Breaking my single cycle changed everything and in just about three months I will no longer legally be considered single.

So if you're stuck in that dating rut that you just can't seem to see yourself out of, then my suggestions would be to identify and then break your own single cycle.

Finally allow your friends to introduce you to "that guy that would be perfect for you" or get out there and try something completely new to meet someone, like Fun 107's Kiss Me I'm Single Party this Friday night at White's of Westport. The place will be packed with singles, all presumably in the same boat that you are and ready to break their own single cycles.

Meaningful relationships can happen in the most unexpected of ways, but if you're not willing to try something unexpected you may never have the amazing "how we met" story to tell.