Remembering the Time I Was Naked at Dartmouth Mall While Christmas Shopping

This might be one of the weirdest stories I've ever told about myself.

Now, before you judge me, what I did was completely legal.

Allow me to take you back to Christmas of 2010.

I had just turned 21 and decided to do a little Christmas shopping at Dartmouth Mall with the birthday money. I'll be the first to admit that I loathe shopping in any form, no matter the occasion. The mall was buzzing like a beehive and the stress was laid on thick. I told myself that the second I was done shopping, whatever money was left over I was going to use to treat myself.

Get our free mobile app

Ruby Tuesday's was calling my name for a stiff post-shopping beverage. After all, I had just turned the legal age and wanted to explore my freedom as an adult. However, before I could even make it over to the bar, I was enticed by a mall massage parlor that is still to this day in its original location: Oriental Relax Center.

Employees often stand by the entrance with a very convincing strategy to lure people in and, man, it worked. I was long overdue for a massage and a full-body deep-tissue experience was just what the doctor ordered after a long day of Christmas shopping.

What happened next stuck with me ever since.

The room I was ushered to was no more than 10-15 feet from the mall corridors, so close you could hear the conversations of the people passing by. I was instructed to undress to my undergarments, lie on the bed, and call the staff when I was comfortable and decent.

Here's where it gets juicy.

One of the questions asked was if I wanted my glutes worked on. Honestly, I'll never turn down a good glute massage and so I agreed.

I was then asked if I wouldn't mind lowering my shorts. Again, I agreed, and off to work they went.

It was a typical massage during which clothing is optional. It's the sheer fact that I was inside of a public mall, very close to shoppers, and was indecent before a thin wall.

Probably not the story you were looking for, but for me, it was still pretty weird. I guess you just had to be there.

P.S. I will admit, the massage was very nice.