Fall River Cop Wanted for Being Too Sexy
Look out Fall River, there's an Orange Is the New Black lookalike on patrol.
While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, a friend of mine (who I will leave anonymous, so we'll call her "Susan") posted that she saw a pretty hunky guy while running a few errands around noontime earlier today.
"I had just left tanning," Susan tells me. "I was going to Taco Bell, but CVS had laundry detergent on sale so I stopped in quick."
As Susan parked her car, she noticed a very attractive cop who was responding to a 9-1-1 call, escorting someone out of the pharmacy who would not leave the store.
This is when Susan hit up her social media with a very interesting post, and judging by her description, this mystery man is a true gift from the heavens above:
"Was just at CVS in Fall River near Taco Bell when I spotted quite the attractive beefcake. Fall River Police Officer on a call there. Tall. Beard. Beefy. Yum. He kinda reminded me of Piscatella from Orange is the New Black. Does anyone know him?" -Susan
Now, for those who don't know who Desi Piscatella is, he is a prison guard in the Netflix original series Orange Is the New Black played by Brad William Henke, and both men and women can't get enough of him.
After doing a little research, I have narrowed down the search of this officer to one person in particular, but to protect his identity (especially since I'm unsure of his marital status and don't feel like home-wrecking the poor guy), I'll let him remain a mystery. Just know that this person is real, yes. He's a police officer for the city of Fall River, yes. He sometimes works the door at Scottie's Pub on Pleasant Street, yes. And finally, yes, he fits the description posted above.
It just goes to show you how funny and random life can be at times. One minute you're ordering a chalupa and the next you've met the hunk of your dreams, all because of a sweet sale on laundry detergent that you just couldn't pass up.
So, to the sexy beast in blue uniform, if you're reading this, just know that you've made Susan's day.