How to Gain Extra Job Security

Here at Fun 107, in addition to producing the Rock and Fox Show, Gazelle is counted on for a very important job. It's something that has to be done almost every single day, and if it's not done it can throw off the entire staff.

Gazelle is the Poland Spring guy.

Whenever our water cooler runs out of water, Gazelle is the guy who replaces it. People will shamelessly drain that water cooler of the very last drop of water, then look for Gazelle to replace it. Honestly, it adds an extra layer of job security for Gazelle. If we ever fired him, the entire Fun 107 staff would die of thirst.

Our production manager, Jason, also has a critical job. There is no one else in the entire building who has any idea how to refill the paper towel dispenser. If Jason is not in, the paper towel dispenser will remain empty until he gets back. It's not that people don't want to replace the paper towels. The problem is that people literally have no idea how to do it. Jason will never be fired from Fun 107 because of this skill. How would we ever dry our hands again?

Christine is the soap girl. Unsatisfied with the quality level of hand soap provided by the company, Christine will go out of her way to get fancy, luxury soaps for the restrooms. No one else on our team would do this. This is why we need to keep her around. We don't want to use Market Basket brand hand soap.

I didn't think I had any extra value beyond the nonsense that I bring to the show each morning, but Gazelle reminded me that I am associated with one job here at Fun 107: I'm the trash guy. If there's trash that needs to be emptied, I'm your guy. I am eager to throw away empty pizza boxes or any food at all that might be in the trash. I like to get all of it into the back dumpster before it starts to smell. It's my job. It's what I do here at Fun 107.