Somebody wake me up from this nightmare I've recently sunk myself into.

If you are late to the game and haven't heard what's slowly becoming national news, Fall River Mayor Jasiel Correia was once again handcuffed at his house and arrested, indicted again on federal charges.

Now, I'm going to spare you the finer details on exactly why he got arrested, but let's just say there was some "funny business" going on between Correia and marijuana retailers looking to come into Fall River.

But now I'm worried the feds might come after me, too.

Before I dive into this debacle that I have named Air Hockey-Gate, let me just remind you of the timeline of events that occurred a couple of weeks ago involving a hit-and-run suspect who fled from the Kings Inn Gentlemen's Club in Dartmouth who just so happened to have an uncanny resemblance to yours truly. I had to jump through hoops just to get my name cleared by the good people of the Dartmouth Police Department and now it seems as though I'm back in hot water once again.

Back in 2017, I was celebrating a birthday milestone for Barrett's Ale House in Fall River. There was a ribbon-cutting from Mayor Correia and we even spent some time in their new game room.

Here's where it gets messy.

First off, I'm a little bothered as to who would bring up such an old and insignificant memory, but here we are.

As I challenged Correia to a friendly match of air hockey, I had joked about a "bet," stating that if I won, I would get to be acting mayor for the day (or something along those terms). IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

Do I have ties with the mayor's recent allegedly criminal behavior? No.

Do I have any connection with the recent marijuana vendor allegations? Absolutely not.

Do I have, in any shape or form, any type of business with the mayor himself or the City of Fall River? Again, that's a firm negative.

I had one fun match of air hockey with the Mayor of Fall River and that's as innocent as it gets. So, before I get thrown under a bus of lies and alleged misconduct, please just understand that I could never in a thousand years pull off such a feat.

The game was won fair and square, with a skillful hand at air hockey. Nothing more, nothing less, and I'm sticking to it.

And for the record, Mayor Correia paid for that game of air hockey with quarters out of his own pocket – but don't ask me how they got in there in the first place.

#EndRant