It has come to my attention that there's a strip club opening back up this Thursday in Rhode Island.

On May 21, the gentlemen's club Rhode Island Dolls will be reopened to the public from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. However, you won't be able to go inside of the establishment and yes, the kitchen is open.

Rhode Island Dolls posted three rules that you must abide by:

  • NO touching (umm, I guess that rules out "personal dances")
  • Face masks MUST be worn at all times
  • Dinner and drinks will be served by their "waitstaff" (whoever that might be)

As tempting (or disgusting) as this is to some, whichever side of the spectrum you're on, this ad isn't as good as it sounds.

Yes, it's opening back up on Thursday, but not 100 percent.

The establishment will be holding off on the "dancing" aspect of the business and just focusing on their restaurant in which food will only be available for outdoor dining. As much as I'm all about chicken "strips," I think I'm going to pass.

Fun fact: I've never been one who flocks to these types of adult entertainment facilities. I'm not bashing the business or anyone who enjoys it, I'm simply stating my opinion that it's a waste of money. In other words, I'd rather be throwing dollar bills into Girl Scout cookie jars or church collections, but hey, that's just my two cents – or in this case, two crisp one-dollar bills.

As great and dandy as this all may be – considering they are an industry trying to get back to work, and  I respect that – my focus is not directed towards the club, but rather towards the person who wants it open so badly.

Seriously, who out there is so fed up with the pandemic that the first thing they can't wait to head out to is the strip club?

Again, it's not my forte, and I'm not trying to judge, I'm simply trying to understand the thought process behind all of this. I can't say that I've personally eaten at a gentlemen's club before, nor do I have the desire to, but I can assure you that there are a solid 50 (at minimum) other restaurants at which I'd rather spend my Thursday night.

End rant. #SorryNotSorry

SouthCoast Restaurants That Need Outdoor Dining

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