True Confession: I Have a Small Chin and I’m Losing Sleep Over It
Going to doctors can sometimes be scary, especially when they have news that you might not want to hear.
The date was Wednesday, May 19.
I had gone for a sleep study about a month prior and was finally going to get the results I'd been waiting for:
Do I have sleep apnea or not?
That's when the discussion between doctor and patient turned into an unintentional personal attack.
First, he explained that the average person, especially around my age, has an oxygen level of around 95% during REM sleep and mine hovered at approximately 84%. On top of that, he said I stopped breathing 20 times per hour for about five to seven seconds each time.
Talk about scary.
Immediately, the doctor classified my condition as moderate sleep apnea and instructed me to use a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine to help correct this.
Never in a million years was I expecting what he was about to say next.
"Let me take a look at your facial profile," the doctor said.
He pushed back my beard and that's when I heard him say, "Ohhhh, this makes sense now."
Confused by his strange diagnosis, he finally ripped the emotional Band-Aid and said:
"You have a small chin."
Ouch. I could feel my manhood melting deep down into my socks and there was nothing I could do about it. The doctor was right. I had a small chin and apparently it was affecting my breathing at night time.
The doctor explained that my chin was pushed a little too far back into my jawline, and since the tongue is attached to the jaw, the back of it was being pushed against my throat, tightening my airway.
You have a small chin.
My hopes and dreams of having a chin as strong and noble as Tom Brady's went right out the window, but the positive outlook on all of this is that once my CPAP machine comes in, I'll be a whole new man. Sleep will finally be on my side as well as being able to properly breathe regularly.
My chin may be a bit of a disappointment, but knowing that I'll have way more energy from a good night's sleep will be worth it.
Besides, this beard of mine isn't going anywhere, and if I have to grow it out a little thicker, then so be it.