This Holiday Candy Should Not Be a Thing

First off, it's definitely too soon to be even talking about this, but I was actually so appalled I needed to share this with someone.

I'm not a big fan of candy canes, so let's just start there. Every year, they seem to come out with new flavors. I have seen some crazy ones before – but nothing like this.

Kale candy canes are a thing? Here is the Instagram post that got me going:

View this post on Instagram

Kale Candy Canes! All the flavor of kale with none of the nutritional benefits!

A post shared by Archie McPhee (@archiemcphee) on Aug 28, 2019 at 11:02am PD

The only thing I can say is "no." No, I will not be trying these and no, this can not possibly taste good. Now I'm just wondering: why?

So I did some digging and apparently this Instagram user has been able to actually come up with new candy cane flavors that actually get made! Flavors like mac and cheese, rotisserie chicken, and pickle-flavored candy canes are just some of his accomplishments.

I think I just lost my appetite. Other than the fact this it's much to soon to be even talking about this, I really think we need to cut these candy cane makers off. Sorry, but I prefer to chew chicken, not suck on a candy cane. Just weird.

Have you tried any of these? Where would you even go to get them? You know what, I don't even want to know. I'm not ready for the "season" to be here just yet. Let's enjoy these upcoming fall days first.

You can absolutely count me out on the kale-flavored candy canes. You couldn't pay me enough. Well, maybe you could, but I'm definitely not going to like it.