Remembering the ‘Fast Food’ Song They Taught in Elementary School

I'd love to know what I did wrong to receive such terrible karma, but I woke up with the worst earworm imaginable to humankind.

Let me take you back, way back, to the early years of grade school. I attended Westport Elementary and my mind is as sharp as an elephant's. For some God-awful reason, a song my teacher made my classmates and I sing emerged from the depths of my mind and began a non-stop loop. Sort of like "The Song That Never Ends" from the TV Lamb Chop's Play-Along.

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Is this song about fast food something you have heard of or remember? I'm having a real tough time evicting it from my brain and it's only fair if I lay it on you, too.

If nightmares were created from one single song, it would be this one:

At this point, if you've listened to the whole thing, you're probably ripping your hair out and casting the evilest spells my way. Hey, I warned you it was cringy.

Now, there seem to be about six more fast food joints that are missing from the version above. I remember, clear as day, singing about Burger King and Taco Bell, but I've discovered a song that includes Dairy Queen, Red Lobster, Arbys, and Wendy's that's a little less cringy than this Ms. Virginia lady.

I was kind enough to get you the lyrics so you can sing along to it while it's stuck in your head like a bad dream:

A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut,
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut
A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut,
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut
McDonald’s, McDonald’s,
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut
McDonald’s, McDonald’s,
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut

A Burger King, a Burger King,
A Taco Bell and a Burger King
A Burger King, a Burger King,
A Taco Bell and a Burger King
Red Lobster, Red Lobster,
Taco Bell and a Burger King
Red Lobster, Red Lobster,
Taco Bell and a Burger King

Hungry yet? The fast-food giants of America have poisoned our minds with greasy regrets you'll never forget. At least I didn't.

Over 25 years later, it's still stuck in my head. Successful earworm or genius marketing? You be the judge. I'm off to get me some McNuggets.

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