The bitter cold is going to set in the Southcoast this weekend. Temperatures in the low teens means prime time cuddle sessions this Valentine's Day. Also a great time to brush up on your "It's So Cold" jokes!

It's so cold...

  • The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
  • Richard Simmons wearing shorts that come nearly to the half-thigh region.
  • Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
  • You have to break the smoke off your chimney
  • You have to open the fridge to heat the house
  • Your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass
  • Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does
  • Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
  • People look forward to getting a fever
  • Mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears
  • I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
  • We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post
  • Refrigerators are redundant
  • Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins
  • Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
  • Prisoners are begging for the electric chair.
  • Roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the pressure cooker!
  • A streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Mitchell hung a plaque around his we have to pretend he's a statue until Spring.
  • I chipped my tooth on my soup.
  • Dunkin' Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
  • We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
  • I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
  • I actually saw a gangsta pull his pants up.
  • I'm drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
  • Ice cubes are coming out of my faucet.
  • Trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
  • Cops are tazing themselves.
  • I farted snowflakes
  • Even Elsa is bothered by it
  • I'm thankful for hot flashes
  • Donald Trump's hair freezes in place.
  • Miley Cyrus had to put her clothes back on.
  • I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
  • The ice cubes in my drink have goose bumps.


Warm Up By The Fire at These Cozy SouthCoast Restaurants

When the weather gets cold, nothing sounds better than warming yourself by a fire. Unless, of course, you also get to have dinner and drinks by that fire. Luckily, there are plenty of restaurants on the SouthCoast and beyond where you can ease your hunger while sitting hearthside.

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