When Seagulls Attack: From Fairhaven Poop to Nantucket Mayhem

I work in Fairhaven, a seaside community that attracts seagulls. The radio stations that employ me are in close proximity to the shoreline, as we are located at the entrance to Sconticut Neck, which protrudes out into Buzzards Bay.

While WBSM and Fun 107 may rule the airwaves, the seagulls rule the airspace.

Seagulls Rule the Skies Over Fairhaven

Anyone who has spent time around the water can attest that seagulls are noisy, nasty flying critters that eat trash, emit horrendous, screaming, high-pitched sounds, and poop endlessly with total disregard for anyone or anything beneath them.

The seagulls of "The Neck" seem to take great pleasure in dive-bombing my car with their excrement as I sit watching helplessly through a radio studio window.

I suppose I am fortunate compared to some.

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Seashells Turned Into Dangerous Weapons

Have you ever been whacked on the head by a seashell while walking near the water? Seagulls, who love shellfish, have evolved to understand that by dropping a mollusk onto a tarred or cement surface from above, they can crack open the shell and gain access to the food source inside.

That is, unless another nasty seagull swoops down and scoops up the prize first.

Dropping a seashell from on high can hurt like hell if it lands on your head and can cause damage if it falls on your car. Just ask Nantucket's Heather Stevens Woodbury.

Nantucket Driver’s Car Window Shattered

According to the Nantucket Current, police were recently called to investigate the smashed rear window of Woodbury's car, but it didn't take long for them to figure out what had happened.

"A seagull had dropped a fresh quahog from high in the air, attempting to crack it open for a meal," the Current reported. "But instead of hitting the pavement, it had crashed through the car's rear windshield."

According to the Current, as of now, "the seagull is still at large."

You may recall I wrote a piece last spring about woodpeckers that were attacking and cracking side-view mirrors on cars, trucks and vans.

Hitchcock’s Warning Still Rings True

Alfred Hitchcock tried to warn us in 1963 with his horror flick The Birds that these creatures had developed an attitude and were plotting revenge against humans. Of course, we didn't listen.