Massachusetts Pizzeria Scores Lowest Ever Rating from Barstool Sports’ Dave Portnoy

If you're wondering who has the worst pizza in Massachusetts, we found the answer.

For over a decade, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy has traveled the country sampling pizza slices as part of his famous "One Bite, Everybody Knows the Rules" series.

Known for his brutally honest yet hilariously entertaining reviews, Portnoy has rated over 20 pizzerias in Massachusetts alone, covering everything from hole-in-the-wall joints to iconic chains.

While many Bay State pizzerias have scored decently, one unsuspecting spot has earned the dubious honor of serving up the worst slice Portnoy has ever tasted in Massachusetts.

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If you were to ask "El Presidente" himself which slice tops his list of the worst in the state, he’d likely point to the Cumberland Farms on Orange Street in Nantucket.

Yes, you read that right – a gas station chain notorious for its quick snacks but certainly not for its pizza.

The Infamous Review

The visit, which took place a few years ago, left Portnoy visibly unimpressed and thoroughly disappointed. According to him, the service was frustratingly slow, especially compared to how quickly the customers ahead of him were served. By the time Portnoy finally got his hands on the pizza, he was sunburnt, hungry, and frankly, over it.

READ MORE: New Bedford Pizza Places Dave Portnoy Has Reviewed

Desperate for some relief, he washed down the stiff, cardboard-like slice with a Truly hard seltzer, which according to Portnoy was probably the best part of the entire experience. He attempted to be charitable at first, rating the slice on a two-point scale.

“It’s disgusting, but on a two-point scale, it’s not that bad," he quipped.

However, things took a nosedive the moment he bit into the crust.

“Oh, the crust is horrible. Just a horrible crust,” he declared.

For Portnoy, the crust is the foundation of a good pizza, and this one was as rigid as a 2x4 – completely inedible. To seal the pizza's fate, he gave it an astoundingly low rating: a mere 0.08.

“I am going to give this, on a two-point scale, a .08,” he declared. “Cumberland Farms. I won’t come for the pizza. I’d come for maybe some gum. But that’s about it.”

READ MORE: Massachusetts Pizzeria Scores Highest-Ever Rating from Dave Portnoy

Other Notable Low Scores

While Cumberland Farms claimed the unenviable title of “worst pizza in Massachusetts,” it wasn’t the only place to earn Portnoy’s ire. Coming in second was the pizza at none other than Boston’s iconic Fenway Park.

“This is like 97 percent crust and three percent cheese,” Portnoy lamented during his review. “The cheese-to-crust ratio is disgusting, all bread.”

The Fenway slice earned a rough 2.4 rating.

Finally, rounding out the bottom of the list was Slice of Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard. Despite its charming location, the pizza left much to be desired.

“Is this what they think a New York Slice is?” Portnoy scoffed before delivering the damning verdict: “Slice of Edgartown, slice of trash.” The Vineyard pizzeria fared slightly better than its peers but still managed only a 3.8.

The Verdict

While Massachusetts is home to some fantastic pizzerias, not every slice is a home run. According to Portnoy, if you find yourself at Cumberland Farms in Nantucket, you might want to stick to the gum.

Contributing Reporting By Matthew Barth