Widower’s New Girlfriend Insists on Visiting His Late Wife’s Grave: ‘I Feel Conflicted’

A man on Reddit is feeling confused and conflicted after his girlfriend asked if she could visit his dead wife's grave with him.

"I am one of many who lost someone in that damn 2020. She was my world and we had our future all set up, she wanted children too by 2021, and then she was gone," he began.

"I felt I had lost all sense of purpose and after an agonizing year, moved away — not too far, but not close either. I didn't feel like I could breathe in that town. Still, every Saturday I get back and visit her resting place," the man continued.

The widower felt as if he were on autopilot for about two years — until he met his new girlfriend, "Ada," last year.

"She gave me something to look forward to again. She likes to do most of the talking herself, which is fine with me because I never know what to say," he gushed.

However, he was recently taken aback when she asked if she could go to visit his late wife's grave with him.

"She knows everything about my wife, and this didn't discourage her. She knows I am doing therapy and still mourning, but she never left me alone. I asked her to tell me if anything I do or say makes her feel uncomfortable or like she's not a priority; she said that as of now I am doing nothing of the sort. She knows what I do every Saturday morning, and never objected to it. But today she said she would like to 'meet her,' as in accompany me in visiting her grave," he explained.

"I feel conflicted about this. On one hand I respect and feel touched by her wish, on other it feels weird for a guy to take the new girlfriend where the first wife is buried. How should I approach this? Is it too soon? Should I ask her to wait for that?" he concluded.

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Users in the comments section advised the man to be honest with his new girlfriend, as well as be grateful for her willingness to incorporate his beloved late wife into their new life together.

"It feels like she wants to support you in something that was (and am sure still is) pretty traumatic. Joining you to visit isn’t about meeting your wife, it’s about being with you whilst you are still grieving/recovering," one person wrote.

"If you feel better being alone, that's okay to tell her. Sounds like she's wanting to know more and is trying to get closer to you. Sounds supportive. It's okay to not be ready or want to do that. She will be okay with it," another advised.

"Your wife would want you to continue with your life. I think it's an excellent idea to take your girlfriend to meet your wife. She doesn't want to disrespect her, she wants to integrate her into your relationship. The girlfriend sounds great. You are no longer married, it's been a couple if years. Embrace the fact the girlfriend respects and honors you and your wife. She may be your next wife," someone else commented.