Dear Abby and Ruth:

I noticed that you ladies have lunch in the park downtown each Friday and I understand that people are invited to hang with you. I really want to dine al fresco with you tomorrow. I do!

I’ve had a long week with a lot of sad desk lunches and I just need to get the heck outside. But before I travel downtown and through a black hole that shoots me straight into the 1850s, I have few questions:

1. Is there a dress code?
I see that you have 1850’s garb on but quite frankly, it is too hot for that. Too H-O-T. Can I just wear regular clothes and maybe some strappy sandals? I'll sit like a lady, I promise.


2. Is this a B-Y-O-L kind of thing?
Normally when people invite me to lunch its because they are providing me lunch and/or paying. Do you mind if I dip into your supply of garden-fresh veggies and fruit? I hear that’s what you normally have with you and sometimes bread, too, if Ruth happens to make it the night before. No gluten allergy here; give me two slices!  (Dear Ruth, Make the bread!)


3. Your open invitation says I can chat with you.
Does my conversation have to stick to the 1850s because I really need some advice about a hair slump I’m in.  Choppy bangs, side-swept bangs, no bangs? Dye job?!  Girls are usually pretty good at giving other girls great hair advice.

I know you’ll be there from 11am until 2pm for lunch but here in the 2015s, 3 hour lunch breaks aren’t really a thing. At least if I get stuck on the bridge, there's always next Friday, right?

Save a seat for me,