We Need to Talk About Greg the Very Important Food Critic, OK?
If you spend any time in local groups on Facebook, chances are that by now, you’ve seen posts from Greg Holden, aka Greg the Very Important Food Critic.
He writes hilarious reviews of local eating establishments, mostly in broken English and frequently punctuated with his trademark “ok” at the end of most of his sentences.
We’re not sure whether this is actually how Greg writes and speaks, or if it is just a character he is portraying for his reviews. But local groups are plastered with his reviews—mainly because he’s sharing them everywhere—and they’re sparking a lot of debate, a bit of vitriol, but also developing plenty of Greg fans, who anxiously await to see how many “Gregs Up” or “Gregs Down” he gives each eatery.
When Greg commented on our story about Ma Raffa’s vs. Pa Raffa’s, I decided to reach out to Greg and see if he would grant me an interview. I can say this—if Greg the Very Important Food Critic is a character, he never broke that character through our entire exchange.
Here’s the interview I conducted with Greg over Facebook Messenger; although keep in mind, I did have to turn some of his responses into actual sentences and capitalize where necessary, or his responses never would have made it through our grammar and spelling checkers.
ME: Can you tell me anything about you?
GREG: I am a very important food critic. I go out to eat with wife, she is anonymous too, so no one know I give review on Facebook on food and experience, ok?
ME: Absolutely. I spent about 10 years as a food critic for The Standard-Times, so I know how you have to stay anonymous. What made you want to start writing reviews?
GREG: Because people need to know if place good or bad. They need important person to tell them.
ME: So how long have you been doing the reviews? And how long have you been important?
GREG: Ok my first review I do Hockomock page, ok? (referring to the Hockomock Swamp Supper Club and Desserts Emporium Facebook group) … I get sandwich from Speedway Raynham, the cheese was little spicy, I did not know, not say on label, so I tell them, then I start doing more important reviews. They all ask review this, review here, so I review.
ME: Can I ask your age, and what town you're from?
GREG: I cannot give age, ok, but I live New Bedford.
ME: Totally understand. Anything else you want people to know about you?
GREG: Me and Mrs. Greg, we love GotChew delivery, just wish they deliver beer with dinner.
ME: Just a couple quick ones. What's your favorite beer? What's your favorite local restaurant? What's your favorite food? What's Mrs. Greg's favorite food?
GREG: Ok New Bedford, lots good places, we like beer from Greasy Luck, never had bad beer there. I like nachos, best nachos from Moat Mountain, New Hampshire, but here I say Boneheads Fall River. Buffalo chicken nachos favorite food, though Buffalo chicken pizza ok. Best Buffalo chicken pizza Riccardi’s New Bedford. Mrs. Greg favorite anything with alfredo.
ME: What is your ultimate goal?
GREG: Ok, Phantom Gourmet, Andelman people, they only like money, ok? Places have sticker on door ‘Phantom Gourmet,’ but they mean nothing. I want places with signs saying they get “Gregs Up,” not pay money for them, ok? I hope one day do own show, not make money, tell people place good or bad.
Well, I told Greg that with both Fun 107 and WBSM, we can give Greg his own live show on YouTube, or perhaps his own podcast. He’s very worried that if his identity gets out, or even just his voice, it will hurt his ability to anonymously review places and he won’t be able to get the “true” experience.
Still, we’re going to figure out something and help Greg get his own food review show, in one form or another. Because when a Very Important Food Critic has something very important to say, we’re going to listen.