Dear Everyone, I’m Too Broke For Christmas
Your gifts will be macaroni art with bubble letter writing, and you'll like it.
Honestly, I'd love to get everyone a nice little gift. I'd love to buy everyone whatever they want. I'd go shop til' I dropped for everyone in my life. That is, if I could.
See, I'm getting married in 198 days. I know that sounds like a lot of days, but it's not when you take a look at the price tag for a wedding.
Wedding funds are tight. The bill collectors come every month looking for their piece. So the reality is, people, you're not getting squat from me for Christmas.
Well, maybe not squat. I'll be more than happy to make you some terrible art project. I make mediocre macaroni art. I can really bust out some brilliant bubble letters. I'm proficient with pipe cleaners. I'm also fairly fine with felt. If you'd like anything like this feel free to send me your wish list (and any and all materials required for such art).
I promise to put love into whatever it is that I make. That's the true meaning of the holidays, right? I saw it in a movie once, so it must be true.
Either way, just know that I'm destitute and if you're expecting something store-bought, prepare to be disappointed.