New Bedford Bar Gets Its Stolen Vacuum Back in Hilarious Fashion

This may single-handily be the best story to come out of New Bedford in 2025.

Somewhere between the late hours of Saturday night and early Sunday morning, a New Bedford bar-goer pulled off what might be the pettiest heist in recent memory, stealing a vacuum cleaner from Ryan’s Sports Pub.

Caught red-handed on surveillance footage, the mystery thief (whose name is not being disclosed) casually walked out of the bar, vacuum in tow. Ryan’s quickly took to social media, posting the video evidence and pleading for the return of their property.

“We are looking for the person who decided to leave the pub with our vacuum," Ryan's wrote. "Please bring our vacuum back and finish vacuuming the pub. We know it’s hard times for all, but come on, people! Please share and hopefully it gets returned!”

The internet, as expected, had a field day.

The post racked up over 140 shares, and while the comments were comedy gold, most were not safe for work – so if you’re curious, you’ll have to dig here yourself.

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Then came the unexpected plot twist.

By Sunday, Ryan’s updated the public with a surprising announcement:

“She has been returned! Poor thing looks like she had a rough night and needed a drink and some .50 wings," the pub wrote.

Attached was a photo of the vacuum cleaner sitting at the bar, looking like it had seen things.

As for the return, the culprit pulled off a stealthy drop-off, walking in with their hood up, leaving the vacuum behind, and disappearing before anyone could react.

The timing was almost too perfect as no one was around when it happened – but of course, surveillance cameras caught it all.

Because every ridiculous crime deserves a silver lining, Ryan’s has now immortalized the incident with a new drink: The Walk of Shame. Naturally, it’s made with Johnny Walker. Because, well… Walker.

As for the “vacuum burglar,” Ryan’s isn’t holding a grudge. No bans, no hard feelings, just a great story for the books.