Fairhaven’s Diabolical Gas Pump Display Will Trigger Anyone with O.C.D.

If you were anywhere near the Cumberland Farms on Huttleston Ave in Fairhaven yesterday at exactly 12:40 p.m., you may have unknowingly shared space with a true menace to society.

Someone who accidentally – or worse, intentionally – stopped pumping gas at $29.99 and 9.999 gallons. Yes, 29 dollars and 99 cents and 9.999 gallons. One single click away from perfection, and yet they walked away. Cool. Calm. Collected. Living their life, sleeping soundly, unbothered, while I spent half the night staring at the ceiling wondering what kind of human being does such a thing (dramatic much?).

I saw the tragedy unfold when I pulled up to the pump, looked at the screen, and felt my soul physically detach from my body. Naturally, I took a picture, because that’s what we all do now. We photograph trauma. And this? This was trauma.

This morning on The MGM Show, I had to process what happened. I texted Michael Rock and Michaela Johnson the photo and demanded answers. “Look at this. Tell me this doesn’t bother you," I asked. To my shock, both of them were unfazed. Michael shrugged. Michaela laughed.

READ MORE: This Sticker Posted By a New Bedford Gas Station Has Us Asking Questions

They are the type of people who pull the pump, lock the handle, wander off to clean their car, and trust the universe to stop the gas whenever it feels like it. Must be nice. Meanwhile, somewhere out there is a person – an "animal", as Michael put it – who decided $29.99 was where their journey ended. They didn’t want the satisfaction of rounding up to an even $30 or hitting that beautiful 10.000 gallons. Instead, they left behind a digital crime scene for the next poor soul to witness.

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The MGM Show Tries to Make Sense of It

That sparked the biggest argument of the morning: What’s worse: stopping short or going over? In classic The Price Is Right style, Michael insisted that staying under is better. Closest without going over. Honestly, though, $30.01 would’ve hurt too. Twenty-nine ninety-nine is a crime, and 9.999 gallons? That’s psychological warfare. Whoever did this is living on the edge.

A Completely Unimportant but Emotionally Damaging Discovery

Look, this is not breaking news. This is not even remotely important in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes, though, the tiny chaotic moments of life poke your brain just enough to make you laugh at yourself. So to the unknown gas pumper of Fairhaven: enjoy living your reckless, penny-avoiding, decimal-abusing life.

The rest of us are trying to heal.