Dartmouth Doppelganger Strips Gazelle’s Dignity at Kings Inn

There's nothing like having a doppelganger who is a wanted suspect for a hit and run at a strip club.

Seriously, I didn't need this, not today.

I can't get over how uncanny it is that this guy looks like me. I mean, you see it, right?

My first thoughts were why the heck couldn't these guys get the spotlight for saving baby ducks or helping an old lady cross the road? No, they had to conduct a hit and run at a local strip club, which makes it even worse.

As of right now, these three suspects shown below are still at large and are wanted by the Dartmouth Police:

Between my phone blowing up and all the Facebook tags and mentions, I had to somehow clear my name, so I called over to the Dartmouth Police Department and here's how the conversation went down:

ME: "Detective Kyle Costa, please."

DET. COSTA: "Hey big guy, what I can help you with?"

ME: "Just wanted to let you know that the guy from the Kings Inn photo is NOT me."

DET. COSTA: "Oh, I know. His arms are much scrawnier than yours. There's no way it could have been you."

ME: "#DayMade."

Well, I guess there's only one last thing to do and that's to find the guy who made me out to be some kind of strip club-going lame-o and thank him for tarnishing my name.

Basically, long story short, in the words of Shaggy, "it wasn't me."