Modern Day Wedding Dos and Don’ts
With my wedding just a couple of months away, I have learned a lot about wedding etiquette during the planning process. And from what to wear to who to invite, things have apparently changed.
According to the Huffington Post, the old ways of planning a wedding have gone out the window and modern to-be-married couples have – if nothing else – a world of options.
It can actually be a little confusing at times, wondering what the right thing to do in every situation, while still trying to plan a day you can ultimately just enjoy. So if you too are in the planning stages of a wedding you may be interested to know what rules can apparently be broken.
1. The bride’s family should foot the bill.
I think we all knew this one was a thing of the past. In fact these days it’s usually the couple that is paying for their big day themselves. Sure having your parents help out is nice, but it shouldn’t be expected. And if you are lucky enough to have folks that want to cover the whole thing and give you everything your heart desires, I hope you truly appreciate them!
2. Brides must wear white
Jessica Biel really helped this one out after sporting her pink wedding dress in 2012, but dresses can really come in all colors now. Apparently this is an old tradition made new again. Back before Queen Victoria made wearing white on your wedding day a “thing” most brides just wore their best dress, no matter what color it was. (Yes that was a sneaky history lesson)
3. The mother of the bride can’t host the shower
I honestly had never heard this one before I got engaged. Had no idea this was poor etiquette, but I guess it was. Not anymore. According to the Huffington Post it used to be thought of as self-serving and a way to just rake in more gifts if the bride’s mother threw the shower, so someone outside of the bride’s immediate family was supposed to do it. Nowadays however, it is probably looked at as a relief to cash strapped bridesmaids who have already shelled out big bucks for dresses, shoes, jewelry, etc.
4. You can’t ask for cash
I can honestly say this was the etiquette rule I was most excited to see could be broken. I didn’t want to be tacky, but after seven years together (five of them under the same roof) my fiance and I have plenty of “stuff.” What we really need is our own home to put all of our stuff in…and you need cash for that. So I am personally thrilled to know it’s not completely taboo to ask. Though for those old school guests that insist of getting a gift, we did register for a few items.
5. Single women are obligated to participate in the bouquet toss
I have been the “single friend” at enough weddings in my time to have hated this tradition and I plan on eliminating it from my big day. All the laughing, smiling couples insisting you catch the bride’s bouquet so you can finally be next…ugh! Don’t feel you have to be a part of this cheesy tradition if you don’t want to. Experts suggest just sneaking away to the ladies room, not sulking with your arms crossed in the corner however.
6. You have one year to send thank you notes
Being crazy busy, I kind of liked this tradition. The idea of not feeling rushed to get back from the honeymoon, go back to work and fit in thank you notes every night until their done appealed to me. But on this one, my dreams were dashed. Darn technology has made thank you notes a quicker ordeal these days. The tradition is really to include a wedding picture with your thank yous. And since digital images take less time to get back to the couple, the thank yous should take less time too. Oh well, can’t win them all!
So for your big day which traditions will you keep and which ones will you throw out the window?