Don't you hate when everyone thinks you're pregnant but then it just turns out you have the flu? No? Well, you're clearly not Kim Kardashian.

Because why should Kate Middleton's tummy troubles get all the attention?

Kim apparently saw a doctor with what someone thought was morning sickness, but it seems she just had your average garden variety flu. And by "someone thought" we mean "someone in her camp floated the rumor because that stupid Christ and his stupid birthday were sucking up all the media oxygen this week."

A close Kardashian family friend who conveniently keeps the tabloids on speed-dial told HollywoodLife, “If Kim was pregnant, I would know because [her mom] Kris would announce it to the world.”

The flu was later confirmed in a couple whiny tweets from Kim:

The Kardashians' friend continued, “I do know that Kim wants to be a mom, but she first wants to get married or at least engaged.”

(Well, she IS married. Just not to the guy who's currently in the position to knock her up.)

Still another friend added the helpful, “If she looks bigger, it's only because of holiday eating!”

So there you have it: If Kim looks pregnant, she ate too much, and if it sounds like she has morning sickness, it's only the flu.

And if Kanye West impregnates her with his demon seed to bring about the end of the world, Kris Jenner will be sure to tell you all about it.