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How to Handle the Uninvited Guest

We all have our reasons for inviting this one and not that one to our wedding. Whatever the reasons are, they should be respected by anyone else remotely involved in your wedding plans.  So what happens when you get the phone call/email/message that goes a little something like “Your mom told me to let you know I’d be coming to the wedding” or my favorite “Oh, you forgot to invite her so I just gave her my invite, that’s okay, right?”  It’s not okay!  How do you keep your wedding from turning into someone else’s family reunion?

1.  Don’t react right away. Immediate reactions can get pretty ugly, pretty quickly.  Let it marinate in your head for a little while and try to pin-point the reason the person assumed they were invited despite a total lack of invitation.

2. Once you’ve collected yourself, calmly let the person know that you are“flattered” that they’d like to be present, but there has been a misunderstanding and your arrangements simply cannot accommodate any more guests.

3. End it with a sweet but firm, “I hope you understand” or “Thank you for thinking of us during this special time.”   Avoid any vague words or phrasing that will allow them to interpret your message as “Okay,okay. Yes, you can come to my wedding.”

If you haven’t gotten this far in your wedding planning yet- you may think this kind of situation rare.  But having experienced it, I can assure you that some darling relative will think there is no harm in inviting “just one more”.

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