Best/Worst Southcoast Places To Break Up With Someone

A Guide To Local Places To Take Your Significant Other If You're Ready To Call It Quits.

The Best Places:

• The New Bedford Market Basket on a Friday Night- It's so crowded, you're almost guaranteed to save yourself the embarassment and a fight. Make sure you carry out your "Things just aren't working" speech in the toilet paper/paper towel aisle to avoid him/her throwing something painful. Also, it's so crowded that you could simply slip away into the busy rush of shoppers.
• Dorothy Cox Chocolates in Fairhaven- Sweeten up the breakup by mending their broken heart with chocolates. I mean, who doesn't like chocolate?!
• The New Bedford Courthouse/Police Station- You know... Just in case things get a little hairy, at least you have the law on your side! The hardest part is simply convincing your significant other to take a field trip to court without spilling the beans!
• Westport Free Public Library- Avoid the yelling and psychotic screams by setting yourself in a quiet atmosphere. Chances are they'll be asked to leave immediately if they become too upset and decide to break the silence.
• Cork Wine & Tapas Bar in New Bedford- This is the modified version of the "Chew and Screw". Meaning this: There's no need to worry about waiting around in excruciating awkwardness for large-sized entrees to come out, tapas are small and quick to the point. Just like your break up should be.

The Worst Places:

• Captain John's Whale Watch Tours- Being stuck on a boat, impatiently waiting for a breaching whale after having the awkward "talk" is not my idea of a good time. Try avoiding this at all cost. In fact, it's probably not the smartest thing to do in the first place (especially guys) if you don't feel like getting thrown overboard from emotional rage.
• Flagship Cinemas- "Please turn off all cell phones and remain in a relationship until after the movie is complete". This is what the theaters should preview before bringing the lights down low. Nobody has time to listen to a couple ruin a movie over a break up. Respect others by keeping your mouth shut all in all.
• The Cliffs @ Fort Tabor- Unless you don't want to be dumped into the ocean after dumping the one who loves you, make sure you're far from the edge. This break-up could end badly.
• The Tiverton Rod & Gun Club- It's probably best to stay far, far away from ANY form of weapons when proceeding with the break up. Come on... That's just common sense. No need to be a "hot shot" at the range (pun intended).... save the closure for afterwards when the adrenaline has calmed down between you both.
• The Westport Fair Ferris Wheel- Chances are the Ferris Wheel cage you're in will get stuck at the top and since you're locked in place, very close to your significant other, you're pretty much screwed. Avoid this at all cost.