The 2013 Oscar for Best Closing Goes to the ‘Here’s to the Losers’ Tribute Song
After a rather entertaining open to the 2013 Oscars, host Seth MacFarlane clearly didn’t want it to end with just the hurried list of sponsors and the usual “let’s get to your local news as quickly as possible even though we just sucked 4 hours of your life away” attitude of the closing.
How do we know that? Because he made sure there was a really awesome closing song.
Dedicated to the evening’s losers.
Who knew you could celebrate the losers at the Academy Awards? MacFarlane knew, and so he did.
He said, “There were a lot of winners here tonight but I know that there are also plenty of you who are disappointed or upset. So, we want to kind of cheer you up here. We just want to say ‘here’s to the losers.’”
And then, after an awkwardly long opening, MacFarlane and the teeny tiny Kristen Chenoweth sang a very lively little number called, ‘Here’s to the Losers, Bless Them All.’
And no one was spared. They started with “Here’s to all the losing works of art from ‘Lincoln’ to ‘Amour’” and went right on down the list. They sang to the “disappointed actors wondering what they dressed up for” and how the “real performance starts with phony smiles at the ball.”
They singled out Best Actress nominee Quvenzhane Wallis and tried to cheer her up with the fact that the 9-year-old will be at the future Oscars when “the rest of us are dead.” They also pointed out that she has “all Tom Cruise’s talent” and she’s “equally as tall.”
They encouraged “poor Bradley Cooper” — who did not win Best Actor — to get his chin up off the floor. They pointed out that his silver lining is that he’ll be making ‘Hangover 4.’ And to all the actresses who lost to Anne Hathaway — including Helen Hunt — they asked if they all thought she was “adorable” and not a something that rhymes with Hunt. They then suggested the ladies “pour a glass of 90 proof and curl up in a ball.”
We have to wonder, with nine movies up for Best Picture alone, not to mention all the possible winners and losers of the night, how many versions of the song did they have to learn?
Of course, it seemed for a moment that they hadn’t learned any versions when they messed up the last verse “nice and good.” MacFarlane said, “That’s why it’s live folks,” and they both just kept going. It was a great (and appropriate) close to the show.
After tonight, we have to count ourselves amongst “those who still believe that all the losers will be winners and all the givers shall receive.”